Sorry, I lied! There is no quickie or instant fix to recovery! Recovery is a lifelong process and requires changes to be made in this process. Lifestyles in recovery do not look nor resemble your old life. There is a newness in recovery that can breathe in fresh air, enlighten and help one go soar above what seemed insurmountable before you began a recovery journey. Life in recovery can be fun and exciting!
If you fight to preserve your previous lifestyle your life will be fraught with what will seem
like an unending series of obstacles and battles, broken relationships , teenage melodramatic episodes complete with gloomy negative scenarios. Your goals will elude you and despair wrought with pain to yourself and others will reign supreme. Change is necessary in recovery and this change does not occur in a vacuum.
Your recovery is unique as you are. However, behaviors you demonstrated while using and years ago that continue to hurt and malign others is not the face of recovery. This is the story of the “dry drunk” or worse one who masquerades to inflict harm on others in feeble attempts to feel good about themselves.
Truly and genuinely engaging in altruistic behaviors helps to provide balance and assures you step out and up without what the psychiatrists refer to as the disease of self — center-ness.
Charity does begin at home even the Bible says so. Your assisting others begins with your family and loved ones. Recovery is all about process and conflicts will arise when you alter your lifestyle. Your job is to facilitate change and work out the details necessary to make the changes involved in your new life. Otherwise you will just spin wheels and will not change.
You don’t assist another for accolades, a thank you, money or reputation. You do it simply to help your family and loved ones. And then others in your community. Sincerely helping others helps your feelings of well-being.
You do this to give back to what others have given you. What you do is not so important as the fact you are genuinely wanting to help another and be a true servant. Self-interest and self-service is off the table.
Begin today. Your life before you is your journey of not a straight line but leaps in valleys and curves and bends on many roads. It can be an exciting endeavor that allows for meandering and a little bit of trial and error. This is the frosting on the cake of restructuring your life. It is a lifelong breathing adventure towards the future.
It involves self-discovery and honesty with yourself and your loved ones. This is courageous and not for the light weights of the world and those that blame others. Taking responsibility for yourself and actions never involves caveats and buts. Blaming others and making excuses for your behavior is not involved in stepping into a new life. Minimizing what you have done to inflict harm on others is not recovery either as it is not an honest inventory of your behaviors.
Authenticity reaps great rewards and is necessary. It is those stuck in the old patterns of deceit, lies and using others to fulfill their own personal needs, wants and desires that never truly experience the glorious life waiting for them in recovery.
Be daring. Start today. Begin today with authenticity that is true in recovery. Without it you do not process forward but live your past and fool no one but yourself and true intimacy with another person is lost. It may take courage to step out in truth and honesty but the rewards are priceless.
